Gospel artist and Citizen TV show host Kambua Mathu opened up on the lessons she learnt following the loss of her second child shortly after birth in February 2021.
Taking to her Instagram stories on Monday, January 10, the Rauka show host was reading a book she recommended for anyone mourning the loss of their child.
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She recounted how the author points out that when a husband dies, the wife becomes a widow, similar to when a parent dies, a child becomes an orphan. However, there’s no title given to a parent who loses a child and when a name is not given, they remain out of reach.
“Losing a child not only affects the parents – but it also affects the siblings, grandparent, auntie, friend, everyone who had hope of experiencing a child. What name do we give an aunty who loses a nephew or a niece?” she posed.
She added how child loss is considered a taboo, with the feedback making it difficult for a parent/parents to heal from such a tragedy.
“Losing a child is so taboo. Child loss is taboo. I have learnt this first hand and also through people I love who’ve walked the journey. the stigma, the shame, the criticism, the judgement, endless questions and unsolicited advice. But I have learnt to guard, my peace fiercely and at all cost,” she narrated.
“I remember a friend who would blog about the babies she’d lost and would get comments like, we are tired of hearing about your dead babies. That is how low we go.”
Kambua shared a psychology finding which suggests that the death of a child is the most difficult death for survivors to endure. She was in agreement having experienced the loss of a parent, grandparents as well as friends
However, nothing came close to the pain of losing a child, which she further indicated, could literally paralyze someone.
She promised to use her platform to generate uncomfortable conversations “not just for me but for many others who do not have the courage to”.
“I say this to urge you to extend grace to those around you who are walking this journey. It is one of the loneliest journeys yet. And you need not say anything, just be there’”, she added.
The gospel artist had taken a break from hosting the Rauka show on Citizen TV following the loss of her newborn son. On her return on Sunday, June 5, 2021, she was given a warm reception on-screen by Bambika host and fellow gospel artist Laura Karwirwa who filled her slot over the period of her break from the national screen.
Karwirwa took the reins of the Bambika show in 2019 following the departure of former Rauka show host Enid Moraa, who served for five years. The wave of changes saw Kambua move from the Bambika slot to the Rauka slot where she has been hosting ever since.
On Friday, May 28, 2021, Kambua addressed her fans for the first time on social media, three months after the loss of her newborn son brought her fans across the country into mourning.
“Love has truly lifted me from a place of deep pain and despair. The love of God, my keeper. The love of each and every one of you who cried with me held me, prayed for my family and me.
“I can never thank you enough for walking this journey with us, with all its briars and thorns,” she wrote.