10 Reasons Women Reject Marriage Proposals From Men

The big question of “Will you marry me?” is one of the most beautiful and the biggest questions couples will hear in their lifetime and moreso if they have been dating for a long time.

To be engaged and later be married to the person you love is the dream of many. However, roses have thorns and not all love stories end up with a big "yes".

Some proposals have ended up with a big "no" and the effect of having your dream woman turn you down is akin to losing a multimillion tender or losing your job in Kenya. This is what happened when one woman on Sunday, January 1 turned down her lover's marriage proposal in the full glare of the public.

A video seen by Viral Tea showed the smitten man getting down on his one knee to pop the big question to his lover, with a smile gleaming on his face. This drew the attention of onlookers at a fast food joint in Nairobi who soon watched in disappointment as it became clear that the woman was about to turn him down.

Here is the video:

Not the best Happy New Year 2023 for this guy...#ViralVideos pic.twitter.com/y3vSrWiwnl — Viral Tea Ke (@ViralTeaKe) January 1, 2023

With embarrassment written all over his face, the man stood up after the lady asked him to do so and they left together, with the onlookers watching the cringe moment in shock as they spoke in hushed tones.

A past study found that nearly 1 in 4 women has turned down at least one proposal in their lifetime. Marriage, for most people, is significant because it’s not just a union of two souls in love but also a decision of a lifetime and the union of two people to be as one, a beautiful and solemn promise to live together in harmony.

This is the reason why marriage proposals are viewed as the ultimate test of commitment. If your partner is truly committed to you and your relationship, then this person would pop the question.

Viral Tea looks at common reasons marriage proposals fail:

One is not ready yet

Couples may be in love and happy, but one party might not just be ready to say ‘yes’ and move on to the next level. In some cases, a marriage proposal rejection doesn’t mean that the other person is not serious about the relationship, it means that they are not ready for the ultimate commitment.

They might still have many plans in their career and single life, and marriage is a topic that has not crossed their minds yet. Some don't want to set false expectations and thus choose to turn down a marriage proposal.

One needs more time to think

A proposal rejected does not equate to love denied. While marriage proposals are always sweet surprises, there are situations where the person may be caught off guard.

If couples haven't discussed their future in marriage and the man happens to pop the question, it is easy to understand why the woman might say no. Nobody wants to be caught off-guard especially when their future is at stake and one partner may need more time to process the question.

She's not the one for you

Some people are okay with dating and being in a relationship but they don’t see themselves being married to the person they’re with.

Uncertainty is the most common reason marriage proposals are rejected. There is a common rule that you must choose your future partner correctly and be sure of your choice because this is the person you will spend the rest of your life with.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, so if she rejects your proposal or you don't see each other as lifetime partners, the answer will always be 'no'.

You're not yet financially stable

Getting engaged and eventually getting married is a financially demanding responsibility, and that also involves planning for the wedding that suits the standards of the two of you.

Afterwards, there are honeymoon trips, children to sire and take care of, bills and school fees to pay etc, which will sound like a tall order if you don't have a stable job or source of income.

Some people would instead focus on their careers first before deciding to settle down. This way, they would enjoy marriage and having a family better.

You don't believe in marriage

It used to be a big deal getting married. These days, there are people who do not believe in marriage in general.

They might think that the ceremony is irrelevant, or they may have a traumatic past that prevents them from believing in the sanctity of marriage. Others might be scared of the divorce rates that have gone through the roof and the consequences of divorce, which have the capability of crippling men financially.

Those in this situation may choose to compromise so they can still stay together without getting married. In Kenya however, cohabiting for more than five years now constitutes being married, with a woman entitled to a share of her husband's wealth.

There's no foundation in the relationship 

A marriage proposal like what we see in fairytales can turn sour and become a rejected marriage proposal. A person might say ‘no’ if there is no solid foundation in the relationship.

This means that if the relationship lacks trust, respect, or even love, then a marriage proposal is just an empty promise. It’s better to turn down a marriage proposal if you are in an abusive or toxic relationship.

The proposal was not romantic

Some marriage proposal rejections are simply because the proposal wasn’t sweet or romantic enough. It’s like expectations vs. reality.

Your partner might have waited for this moment for years. Expectations like a grand hotel reservation, a romantic song, a bouquet of roses, and all of that romantic stuff, and let’s not forget getting down on one knee before asking the question.

You simply ask your partner, “Hey, let’s do it. Let’s get married, okay?” which however can cause mixed emotions that can lead to a harsh and cold ‘no.’

It was done in public

A majority of marriage proposals that have made headlines in Kenya have been done in public. This is like shouting to the whole country that you're in love and ready to marry this person, whether she likes it or not.

For women who are introverts, such a proposal scares them and the chances of your proposal being rejected fail. This would also mean that you do not know your partner well.

For some, a private marriage proposal is more romantic and heartfelt.

The proposal was the only way to save the relationship

A proposal might be used when a relationship is in danger of falling apart, which only increases your chances of it being rejected. Instead, being truthful and working together is much better than proposing a marriage.

It’s better if the marriage proposal is made out of readiness and love. Some relationships have even come to an end immediately after failed marriage proposals.

Being poor in bed

One wild reason women reject men's marriage proposals is if they don't enjoy being intimate with him.

"Although we’re great friends and compatible in all other ways, I tolerate him in bed; there’s hardly any chemistry there. The thought of spending my entire life enduring that made me say no. However, my answer stung him to the point of him not talking to me. I don’t want to lose our friendship," a woman was quoted by the Nation.

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor, believed that such a reason for rejecting his proposal might have damaged his ego and by bringing up the sexual matter instead of tolerating it, she put the friendship in danger of disintegration.