DENVER B: 3 Useful Tips For Women After Achraf Hakimi Divorce Saga

It may be considered old news but some of us are still reeling from the most controversial news of April. I'm talking about the divorce case of Achraf Hakimi and his soon-to-be ex-wife.

While in today's fast-paced environment news like this becomes old very quickly, the novelty of his story has been so controversial that it may end up being a part of history for days to come. The short of it is the ex-wife expected half of his wealth but will instead be splitting hers in half as 80 per cent of his wealth is under his mother's name thus putting the court system in his favour.

The men were all up calling his move legendary due to his ability to beat and turn a system notorious for hurting men towards his side, hurting his spouse in the process. Some women were up in arms, claiming the move unfair and spectating that the wife wasn't even after the money.

One woman did something different though. She decided to speak on how such a scenario can be avoided using a prenuptial agreement (or prenup) and outlined some steps and why they're relevant. 

I happened to discuss this earlier and figured there's no reason not to share her insights here as well.

Listen below:

What was said

She starts off by mentioning the Hakimi divorce and voices how she feels some type of way regarding his moving of assets to the mother's name but opts to discuss it later.

She then moves to give women tips on how to avoid such a scenario. She gives the following pointers:

Get a prenup

This should be done even if you (the woman) don't have a massive asset portfolio. This is due to its mandate requiring both parties to declare their wealth in the initial stage.

This will not only include the assets they have but also include where they're located and whose name they're in. If Hakimi's wife did this, she'd know there's nothing to his name. 

Have a Provision Giving a Payout For Being a Housewife 

This is done due to the sacrifice made in favour of staying home to raise the children instead of remaining in the workforce, getting promoted and/or making (more) money.

This is because society and/or your love for your family will pressure you to do so thus you need a payout since going back to the same job will be hard due to the gap in your CV.

Have a Payout for Every Child You Bear 

This may not be seen as necessary because it's not such a big deal but there is a mental, physical and emotional toll taken on your body which will change you forever.

Also, in the event of separation/divorce, you will be treated differently once you go back into the dating market since you're a single mother as opposed to the rich, divorced single father your spouse is. As it won't impact him but impacts you, you should be compensated for it. 

Advocating for Prenups

To be honest, I was laughing while hearing all this. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd hear a woman advising other women to go for a prenup, but here we are.

This made me happy, not because of what was being said but rather the fact that women were suddenly seeing what it's like for a lot of men today.

For the first time in a while, the tables were turned (publicly) and the loss was given to the woman. The men were rejoicing and woke women were scrambling for straws to come out on top.

This prenup idea was a response to the current scenario but I figured there may still be issues with it, so I figured I'd question a few things. 

Declaration of Wealth?

The reality of assets owned being declared sounds like a nightmare for most men, even though most of us don't own much to hide in the first place. It is akin to telling your date how much you earn, both gross and net.

However, I wonder if anything is prohibiting the transfer of assets after the fact or simply declaring the assets under your own, but not joint family assets or assets owned by another party that you have access to.

Paid for Nothing 

The second part was the part I took issue with more than any other. The idea that I'm to pay my partner for staying home to take care of the kids seemed a bit weird to me.

Firstly, we're both sacrificing for the sake of the children. Yet she'll be loved more for her sacrifice later on whilst I may be ignored/looked down upon as the parent that was rarely around. 

Secondly, why is her external/internal pressure any of my problems?

The option to quit and become a housewife (unless I forced her to do it) is entirely hers and thus should be her burden to bear, not mine. So why incur consequences for her choices?

Single Mum Insurance 

The third step is probably the most contentious one in my opinion. The idea of a payout in the event of childbirth is something that's been done with/without a prenup by many people.

The idea of a 'push gift' has been something many modern-day women hope for in their partner, which embodies the same principle. That's the part I agree with.

The issue I had was the idea of returning to the dating market as a single mum. Firstly, why should that be my problem?

I'm not trying to be heartless here but her value to me ends once we're no longer together, so why care beyond that? But most importantly, how exactly does the money help her?

Being a single mother in the dating market is tough but having a lot of money added on top does nothing but make you a rich single mother. Having a booty or a curvy body does more for you in such a situation.

Conclusion

It's probably too late to say that I didn't agree with much of what she said. I really do believe in prenups, but not to such a degree that it seems almost predatory to one party over another.

I believe in the prenup from a sense of concern. It's rooted in the realization that people are more individualistic today than ever before, and many people are willing to gain wealth at the expense of another and an important bond.

So in short, get a prenup if you can, just be weary of the clauses and see if it works for you. Also, consult a lawyer that will have your individual interests at heart.

Denver B is a TV personality on the show Men’s Conference and a podcaster on the Break Time on Westside podcast which speaks on love, sex & relationships spanning over 360 episodes. You can reach him through his email [email protected]

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