Is A Coffee Date The Best? We Answer Kenyan Woman Who Caused Uproar

A Kenyan woman named Cindi Munene sparked a massive debate on X (formerly Twitter) when on Wednesday, October 31, she expressed her disgust at men asking her out on a coffee date

Marvin Chege Marvin Chege
Nov 1, 2023 - 19:00 Updated: Nov 1, 2023 - 19:03
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Is A Coffee Date The Best? We Answer Kenyan Woman Who Caused Uproar
A collage of coffee mugs and a man and woman during a coffee date. /VIRALTEAKE

But first, coffee! This popular beverage is the go-to for many Kenyans as an alternative to tea every morning when they wake up, and it is also a great option for a first date.

However, women happen to be different, and in the Generation Z era, women these days expect more from men trying to court them, particularly those in their youth. Therefore, a coffee date for a first date, despite being one of the cheapest options, may not suit well for some of them.

A Kenyan woman named Cindi Munene sparked a massive debate on X (formerly Twitter) when on Wednesday, October 31, she expressed her disgust at men asking her out on a coffee date, a drink she believed she could make right from her house.

"Idk (I don't know) why men are comfortable asking for a coffee date. You wanna see me over some hot water? Bffr (be for real)," she wrote in Gen Z lingo.

Despite her standing by her proclamation, stating that she would rather have a good date where she can order a full chicken, scores of netizens, including fellow women, differed with her sentiments.

A man and woman as a couple. /HIVISASA.COM

"I actually like low-pressure dates like coffee. I don’t want to dress up and do the most if I'm not sure I’ll like the person, it will feel like a waste of outfit and time, ama?" Jemena weighed in.

"Lol unless I know that I enjoy spending time with you, the first date should always be coffee or drinks. I cannot sit through a dinner with a boring/uninteresting/cringy person even if it's free food," another user stated.

User Auntie Wa Harrier shared details of a conversation a friend of hers had with a man who invited her to a free public event at the Kenyatta International Convention Centre (KICC) in Nairobi on October 28 from 1 pm to 7.30 pm, which she declined.

Anyungu Wanyugu believed that Munene was using her sentiments to measure her worth by the quality of first dates men were willing to invest in her.

"What happens when we all spiral out of the age of first dates? What will your worth be? It’s a tough economy, very few good men in their mid to late twenties can actually afford coffee for two," he wrote.

Viral Tea can authoritatively contradict Munene's sentiments and share our verdict of one of our journalists being at a coffee date recently:

What Are Coffee Dates & Their Benefits

Casual yet classic, coffee shops located across Nairobi are not only great for morning caffeine hits, afternoon pick-me-ups, and freelance work settings, but believe it or not, they also act as great date locations to meet someone for the first time.

Why you might ask? Both low-key and cosy, coffee dates can be the perfect way to get to know each other or spend quality time together cheaply in a low-profile, no-pressure setting. Let’s face it, good coffee is something that we can all generally get on board with.

Other than being very affordable regarding the high cost of living in Kenya, coffee dates are an easy ‘ground’ to 'strike while the iron is hot.' They are a great way to enjoy great coffee and (hopefully) excellent conversion with your potential or current partner. 

They are also a good way to gauge how interested you are in the other person in a low-pressure environment without investing a lot of time into a date. That is, if you’re not feeling it, there's no love lost. 

If you have recently moved into a new location coffee date is an ideal way for coffee lovers to explore the best of the best coffee spots that are right on your doorstep - and if you enjoy the company of your date, that’s a bonus! Most cities and towns are bustling with cool coffee spots to sit back, sip, have a bite and relax.

You can easily prolong or cut the date short depending on how it's going. Most coffee dates will only last an hour or two - after the date, you can continue onto dinner or an activity, plan to pick up another time or call it a day.

Picking the Perfect Coffee Date Location

Now you’ve decided on the coffee date, it's time to determine where you want to go. From the location to the spatial dynamics and the vibe, there are plenty of factors to consider when picking the best coffee spot for your date. According to Bumble:

  1. Consider opting for a location that is a convenient distance from both you and your date to avoid any lateness.
  2. Avoiding bustling and always busy coffee chains could be a good place to start - instead, opt for something tailored to your date's interests or near a park or recreational spot that you could wander into afterwards.
  3. For an ‘artsy date’ consider opting for an independent coffee shop that comes with accessories such as exposed brick, ceramic mugs, and pared-back interiors. Book lovers may want to head to a bookstore or library coffee shop, to enjoy a brew whilst comparing notes on their favourite authors.
  4. Choose a spot that is on the quieter side and has a lot of seating. 
  5. Opt for an area with plenty of coffee shops, in case your chosen one is a bit busy.
  6. Get there early and find a good people-watching spot or a balcony spot where you can catch a glimpse of people and the surroundings, which further adds interest to the conversation.

Like any other date, you will want to ensure you have an exit strategy depending on whether the date goes well or not. "Sorry I’ve got to get back to work in an hour or so", "I’m grabbing lunch with a friend" or "It’s been great meeting you, but I need to run to catch my train" from perfect excuses, should you need one.

What is the best time for a coffee shop date?

As most coffee shops don’t stay open past 9 or 10 p.m., the best time for a coffee shop date is the morning or afternoon. The caffeine will give you an extra boost of energy and help you to give a great first and lasting impression. 

If you want to avoid the busy coffee restaurant rush, you might want to consider avoiding the lunchtime crowd, instead arranging to meet around 3 pm leaving you enough time to make plans for afterwards should the date go well. 

A waiter serving a cup of coffee. /TRIPADVISOR

How long should a coffee date last?

There is no right or wrong answer for how long a coffee date should last, that all depends on how much you are both enjoying each other's company and ultimately what you both want out of it as an end goal. 

What’s more, unlike a dinner date, with a coffee date, there is no real etiquette with how long you need to stay and be present - an hour should suffice. If the date goes on well, you could grab another, or maybe something a little stronger at the bar or club nearby.

What to wear on a coffee date?

To reiterate, coffee dates are casual, so you can leave your Little Black Dress (LBD) or power suit hanging in your closet unless, of course, you’re meeting for a date during your working day.

For a weekend coffee first date, a casual coffee meet-up calls for a low-key yet stylish ensemble that showcases your personality, without giving the impression that you tried too hard, even if, for women, you did spend 45 minutes fixing your hair.  

In our opinion, the best coffee date outfit is the one that makes both you look and feel your best. Wear something that makes you feel comfortable, because the more physically comfortable you are, the more emotionally comfortable you will feel.

Furthermore, consider elevated basics - think simple, minimal yet stylish. For example, pair jeans with a basic tee or an athleisure set with an oversized shirt. You might even want to clean your best sneakers for the occasion. 

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