Nadia Mukami Remarks: Why You Can Be Single And Still Date Someone

Mukami argued that their relationship was temporary and that focus can be shifted to other individuals elsewhere

Nadia Mukami Remarks: Why You Can Be Single And Still Date Someone
Collage of Nadia Mukami with her lover, Arrow Bwoy. /FILE

Popular Kenyan singer and mother of one, Nadia Mukami on Friday, August 4 made a bold statement regarding her relationship status with her lover and co-artist, Arrow Bwoy, real name Ali Yusuf.

During an interview with Kiss FM, the Kai Wangu hitmaker claimed that she is still eligible to be with someone else as Arrow Bwoy was yet to pay the required dowry to her parents before tying the knot with her.

Not willing to mince her words, Mukami argued that their relationship was temporary and that focus can be shifted to other individuals elsewhere as a way of exploring their options before deciding whom he or she will spend eternity with.

“I am single as far as I know until the father of my child pays my dowry. It's a fact. I'm not married, he has not paid any dowry to my parents. He is with me on credit.

Collage of Nadia Mukami and Arrow Bwoy. /FILE

"I'm still in the market. We need to tell our men that if you have not paid the dowry, then one leg is here and the other is elsewhere," she said. 

The singer emphasized the importance of traditional customs and the significance of dowry payment in establishing a committed relationship, adding that without the formal acknowledgement through dowry payment, she views herself as only a girlfriend, not a wife.

Mukami challenged Arrow Bwoy to see to it that the dowry he pays should be commensurate with her value in terms of the size of her brand and academic qualifications.

“He should marry me officially. I am free, and if you really want me to say I am married, you have my parent’s address. I am a lady who is very learned and is very high, and I am a brand.

"My father invested so much in me. I did not go to schools where people eat Githeri, so the dowry is high, and he needs to invest in this babe," she went on.

Back in 2022, Arrow Bwoy did an interview where he jokingly said he was planning on taking sugarcane to his in-laws as bride price.

You Can Date But Still, See Other People

Viral Tea takes a look at why Mukami's argument holds water. According to a past report by The Washington Post, being single doesn’t mean you’re entirely unattached and if you’re not in a committed relationship, you are probably talking to multiple romantic interests.

With the abundance of ways to meet people, including dating apps and social media, friends, work, or mixers, it’s hard to figure out the rules of engagement when you’re dating around or seeing someone who might be. The blurred boundaries of modern dating often lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

A 29-year-old man living in New York City, USA explained that he was less than clear with people he’s dated, which led to mismatched expectations.

“This was old me, me before I knew how to communicate my feelings in a mature way, and in a way that would benefit myself and the person I was dating,” he told the US-based publication in 2019.

Rules Of Dating Without Exclusivity

It is important though to keep other flirtations under wraps early on, one of the unwritten rules of dating without exclusivity. If you and a new partner have friends or connections in common, you’ll need to be extra careful not to parade dates in front of each other.

This means that if you run into that person at a bar, club or other function, it is beyond disrespectful to make out with someone else or leave with someone else in front of them.

It is also disrespectful to be posting on Instagram with the other people you are dating, even if it is ‘storying,’ or commenting steamy things on others’ photos, keeping in mind that online activity is often visible to all your dating connections.

A man walking with a woman along a street. /FREEPIK

“Don’t talk about your interest in someone else, or how fun it was to hook up with someone else, just because you’re not yet exclusive. There’s a way to convey that you’re dating others, you’re not 100 per cent available, all the time, that will let the person you’re dating sense that it may not be a relationship yet," said Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing).

How To Be Interested But Not Make It Official Immediately

You don’t have to make it official immediately, but there are still ways to show that you’re interested. One good example is clearly and verbally ending a good date by saying: “I like you; I’d like to see you again.” Such a statement “lets them know my intention, it hopefully allows them to say theirs, and means we don’t need to play the game of, ‘Do they like me?’ ”

Even if there’s clear interest, two people might have different romantic goals, therefore one should mention those goals when it feels right, or when you need to make your expectations clear. People often make assumptions about the exclusivity of the relationship that their dates may or may not share.

“Every person has their own experience-based understanding of what exclusivity means and when exclusivity occurs,” weighed in Laurel House, a celebrity dating coach and host of Man Whisperer Podcast.

“Some people assume that if you go on one good date, you are now not dating anyone else. Others continue dating multiple people for months or even years. Some assume that exclusivity comes before sex, and some after.”

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