DENVER B: 7 Things Women Today Want In Responsible Kenyan Men
As a Kenyan man, I’m interested. Kenyan men haven’t been considered (by our women on social media) to be the crème of the crop
Denver Bagaka 
It’s a boring day at the office. It was one of those weekends where I was required to come to work and the workload wasn’t anything to smile or cry about.
As I’m trying to do some online fact-finding, I stumbled upon an interesting article which was titled Kenyan Man Lists 7 Things Women Must Demand from Man Before Agreeing to Date that Prove He's Responsible. You can read that here.
As a Kenyan man, I’m interested. Kenyan men haven’t been considered (by our women on social media) to be the crème of the crop and we’ve been compared with our West African brethren, mostly with us being considered the lesser equivalent. So I had to see if this ‘advice’ was worth it.
What I read was about as appealing as a glass of water on a rainy day, but I made an episode discussing its contents here.
Listen below:
But for context, here’s what the contents were:
A Checklist for Women
The article was drawn from a TikTok video which had a man speak of how men have dropped the ball in terms of our responsibility to our families.
This means that women now need to be more critical of the men they were dating/courting. Women today need to have their potential suitors present some things (to be listed below) to ensure they have a chance with the women themselves.
These things are supposed to show that the man is responsible enough to settle down with. The requirements are:
- A certificate of good conduct from the Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI)
- Diploma/Degree certificate from a reputable college/university
- Title Deed
- One-year bank statement
- Pay slip
- Appointment letter/contract
- Proof of renting/owning the property he resides
With a list this extensive, there surely can’t be any issues, right?
What You Can Get For Less
Before I go off on its usefulness (or lack thereof), the first thing I noticed was that you could apply for a bank loan with about half the things here.
Whilst a lot of us can argue on its need, let’s get one thing clear; after you get the loan, it won’t stop you from having a good time with the boys, and neither will it have a problem with you sleeping with another woman. But that part was mostly a joke.
The last place I needed a good conduct certificate was when I was starting my job. The last time I was required to present a bank statement and/or title deed was during a declaration of wealth for an audit.
What tells you (or anyone for that matter) that any guy with means would be willing to show a random stranger such information simply because they’re hot? Do you even need post-nut clarity to see this as a bad idea?
Worth it's Salt?
We also need to debate what all these things show.
The certificate of good conduct only shows that you’ve got no criminal record, which a lot of ‘criminals’ have. The degree/diploma carries very little besides a higher education and some level of qualification and teachability.
Officers outside the entrance of DCI headquarters. /FILE
A title deed, bank statement and pay slip only show how much you own and earn, things you’re not supposed to ask a man. It’s the equivalent of asking for a breakdown of a woman’s weight with body fat percentages, as well as sexual partners (probably add their reviews for good measure haha).
Then we have the proof of renting/owning the house you live in. This can show responsibility, but I’d argue the setup and organization inside would hold more weight.
Is It Even Useful?
By now you’ve seen how useful any of these requirements are in showing responsibility. It gets funnier if you decide to remove the degree and see how much better it gets.
A recent statistic revealed that the majority of real estate owners in Kenya didn’t have a degree. So you’re effectively reducing the dating pool by ridding the larger owners of real estate by asking for a degree.
Most drug lords and money launderers are free and have never seen prison, and none of these requirements proves that the man won’t walk out on you and your child(ren) for another woman.
So, if he’s got all of the above but is a narcissist and/or has no ‘member discipline’ let alone EQ, then would you still consider him of good quality? Wouldn’t something as simple as dependability or consistency be more crucial than someone’s bank statement?
How does any of this show real responsibility? Does any of this substantiate the claim that men have dropped the ball in familial responsibility? Does it even fix anything?
Conclusion
The majority of the ‘advice’ of male partner selection today has inclined itself heavily on finances and wealth that it fails to highlight key attributes such as good communication, a sense of vision, dependability and courtesy, among others.
It’s become a game of speaking towards the desires and interests of young impressionable women, all to garner their approval. This proves itself in this article, speaking on responsibility yet centring on assets and acquiring them before marriage.
So maybe next time you’re looking for a checklist for man to live up to, you’ll look for things that are not only good but practical too!
Denver B is a TV personality on the show Men’s Conference and a podcaster on the Break Time on Westside podcast which speaks on love, sex & relationships spanning over 360 episodes. You can reach him through his email [email protected]
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